Thesis staement: Family and friends are more important than money.
Reason for 1: Everthing is not bought by money.
Example1: There are a lot of people who are rich but unhappy.
Reason for2: We don't have too much time for only working, we should spend time with our family and friends.
Example2: Our life long is almost 65-70 years only.
Reasons against (oppenent arguments): Money covers everythint all over the world, even happy.
Refutation of oppenent's argument:We can live with a little money which is enough for living.
Kaydol:
Kayıt Yorumları (Atom)
Your thesis statement is "Family and friends are more important than money." Why? In terms of what? "Everything is not bought with money" What do you mean by "everything"? Cars, houses,etc? You should clarify this sentence. Your example 2 is not a good statement. "Our life is almost 65-70 years" So what? Is it too short?
YanıtlaSilYour refutation should be stronger. You cannot convince your readers with these supporting sentences. You should make them stronger.
Moreover, please be careful about your English both in spelling and grammar; and work out on this paragraph a bit more.